Mediocre Love

"We accept the Love we think we Deserve..."

I've been thinking about this quote for sometime now. I've first heard this in the trailer of The Perks of Being a Wallflower. And since I've just finished reading the book, I can't help but repeat this quote inside my head over and over again. There's something about this quote that makes me feel attached to it. Maybe because I don't understand it at first but feels like I've known its meaning a long time ago...

I never understood the quote at first. Not until I read the book. Now I can connect it to what Emma Watson (who plays Sam) said in the trailer, "Why do I and everyone that I love pick people who treat us like we're nothing?" And then Logan (who plays Charlie) said, "Because we accept the love we think we deserve.." Is it so? Do we really accept the love we think is best for us? Do we really love somebody because we thought it was the best love we've ever have?

I've been thinking about how people choose the one they will love (if they have any choice at all. They say that you cannot choose love because love chooses you) and how they end up falling out of love. Or how they fall for someone else. When all hell breaks loose, how someone just say goodbye because he has fallen out of love or has fallen in love with somebody else. I've always wondered why people leave other people behind. And then, the one left behind feels like the love she lost was all that she ever had and will ever have.

I've been thinking about how one can say such thing to herself. I've been thinking how one can say it's all the love she needs and it's all that matters to her. I've been thinking how one can measure such love for it to be considered as "the one she deserves". How can someone tell it's the perfect love?

I have so many questions in my mind right now. But most of it stems from that particular quote. I still don't fully understand it until now.  Just a few things that I read from the book that somehow helps me understand it. But at least, I have my own interpretation of the quote that maybe a bit similar to what it really means. It's like having your own interpretation of a poem based on your experiences and understanding. And so this is how I understand the quote...

We love someone. We say it's the best love we will ever have. We think he's the One. And so we give all the love we can give. Because we think it's the love that is perfect for us. We think that that love is enough for us to breathe and live. Until such time that we see our future with them. And we would have our future with them. Until such time that we see that our future is getting blurry. But we still continue because we have to hold on to such love that we think is perfect. We are not aware that we deserve more than just that. We are not aware that this love is a mediocre one. That it is not yet the one we deserve. That since we have the ability to give so much love to someone, we deserve the best love in return. We are blinded by the fear that if we let go of this love we already have, we might not be able to find another one as good as this again. And then, we fear that we will be left alone. Sad. Emotionally unstable. But the thing is, we will not realize this at first. Only after they leave us and we realize we've had too much and we have decided to let it go that we will realize we deserve more. More than the love we lost.

We get love from other people besides the love we give to ourselves. We have family, friends, even acquaintances who become our friends afterwards. These people are always there for us. They are the ones who give love without asking anything in return. They know how to love us in a way that we would feel blessed and happy. We don't have to tell them to love us in their best way. They just do. And then there's also the love coming from one person who we really deserve. Sometimes, we don't see them. And so we let the opportunity of being loved by someone we deserve pass by. Sometimes, we haven't met them. And so we think that we already lost the best love we've ever had, not really aware that it is not yet the best love of all time.

And then there's also the problem of how we look at ourselves. How we see ourselves being loved by someone. Most of the time, we settle for less, thinking that once we felt love, it's all that matters. We fear of being picky over the love we choose because the truth is, we are not yet aware that we deserve more. We think it's already what we deserve because we don't look highly of ourselves. Not in a boastful way. But what I'm trying to say is, in our character and in our ability to give so much love, we always forget to ask ourselves, "do I really deserve the love I'm getting from this person?" What he does and say, how he does and say it, do we really believe there's nothing more than this? We forget to ask ourselves these questions until such time that these people we picked to love leave us. We become fully aware that we're tired of settling for such mediocre love. And then we would realize we deserve more. Maybe more love from another person or more love from our families and friends.

I hope everyone realizes that we deserve so much love. And that it is just around the corner. May it be from someone special waiting in line or from our families and friends. I hope that by the end of the day, we don't settle for anything less. Especially when it comes to choosing who to love. Or choosing who to love again. Because we don't deserve anything less than the love we could give. Only then that we can say we've chosen the love we think we deserve.