A letter to the twenty-two year-old ME.

I'm so used to reading letters like these: "A letter to myself," "A letter to the young me," "A letter to the teenage me." etc. And I am writing one myself this time. And believe me or not, for no reason at all.

So what makes me choose twenty-two?

If you're a Taylor Swift fan or someone who appreciates her music, you'll notice that she has already made songs for specific age groups. Like fifteen and twenty-two. Or more appropriately, 22 (based on how twenty-two was used as the title).

We're happy free confused and lonely in the best way

It's miserable and magical oh yeah

Tonight's the night when we forget about the heartbreaks, it's time..

And in that sense, 22 is the age of drastic changes in someone's life. Especially in our country where people who reaches 22 are suppose to have jobs, or in some cases, a family of their own. It is the time when people becomes more matured as they go out of their comfort zones and explore what's in store for them in the outside world. It is the time to make their own make-or-break choices. It is time to be on their own.


To 22-year-old me:

When you try to look back at your 21 years of existence, so much has happened. But not as much as what you will experience beyond those 21 years. Not as exciting, sad, confusing, amazing, or even terrifying as when you were 21 or younger. Not even close. And as they say, at your age, the only thing that is constant will be change. But don't worry, no one has a choice of skipping 22.

So you have to deal with it.

You will encounter different types of people. You will get hurt by them, be happy with them, learn from them. You will feel depressed at times or otherwise blissful and ecstatic. You will feel loved and hated; trusted and betrayed. You will gain friends and enemies alike. You will learn that not all people can be easy to please. And eventually, you will learn that you're not suppose to please all of them anyway. Just those who are worth it.

So choose your friends well.

You will be thinking not of yourself anymore, but of the people around you. Those who love you. Those who depend on you. If in the past you only consider what makes you happy before you decide on anything, this time it will not be the case as there are people who will be affected by your choices.  You will learn that these people will be affected not only because they depend on you, but because they care for you. And you, for them.

So decide well.

There will be times that you will be confused as to what to do in your life. You will seek for more exciting things. For more adventure. But life will disappoint you, big time. And because people depends on you and your choices, you will rather choose what's in front of you than what's in store for you outside of your box. You will be contented with what you have right now. Because what you have right now meets your current needs and the needs of the people you care for. So you settle for it. DON'T. Stop settling for anything less. You can still provide for the needs you have to meet and at the same time, dream big. You have so much in store for you. You just don't realize it as you are focused on realizing the dreams of those you love. You disregard your own dreams for theirs when the truth is, you can achieve both. You can reach for your dreams without compromising theirs.

So dream on.

You will experience heartbreaks of all kinds. From your family, friends, colleagues, and special someone. As I have said, pain and heartaches are inevitable. You will learn how to love deeply. You will learn how to care truthfully. And as you open yourself to the happiest feeling there is, you are also opening yourself to the worst that exists. One can't exist without the other. So if you choose to love, then you have to know that you are also allowing yourself to get hurt. But getting hurt is just a step from knowing how great love is. It's just a step from experiencing the best that love can offer.

So love and let yourself be loved.

You will realize that happiness never comes from other people; rather, it shall always come from inside you and be radiated to others. Your smile is contagious; therefore, you shall be a good example of a happy person that can always change the negativities of other people into optimistic ones. There will even be times when your smile is all you need to change a situation. Not that you can manipulate people. It means you can serve as an inspiration to them and help them see that life is beautiful. Your smiling eyes shall always be the manifestation of a life worth living. A life lived in peace and happiness.

So always smile and be happy.

You will be very indecisive when you need to decide on your own. You will be very sensitive about things that aren't important at all. And insensitive at those which are. You will start to become very dramatic as a result of the changes you are dealing with; with which you are not prepared for.

So you have to prepare yourself for more.

These are just some of the things you will come face-to-face with as you go beyond the age of 22. Pressured? Nah. Most of the people, if not all, who reaches your age deals with these, too. You are not alone. But just imagine those who lack the capacity to deal with these things because they don't have the means to do so. On the other hand, you do. You have all the means to deal with these things. You are blessed. And everyday, you should be thankful for that.

It is not easy to deal with so much changes, let alone extreme ones. But always remember, challenges only makes one stronger. Better. And these challenges exist because they are designed to make you the best person you can be.

And the best, you will be.

Just close your eyes...

Because if you don't, you'll be face-to-face with reality.
You won't even dare open your eyes.
Because if you do, you'll see your pillows, wet from tears.
You'll see the sky dark. Empty.
So you'll keep your eyes closed.
Dream of the world you want to see;
feel the emotions you want to feel.
You have control over everything that you see behind your closed eyes;
unlike when you open it, you'll see the truth.
The truth that always hurts.
So you keep your eyes closed;
choose a place where you've always wanted to be;
with the person you want to be with.
He will be the person you want him to be.
Unlike when you open your eyes, everything is different.
Exactly the opposite.
So you just close your eyes.
Behind it, you'll see things that will never happen in real life.
Things that only exist in your mind.
Things that make you happy.
Pain doesn't exist there.
You won't feel hollow.
So you keep your eyes closed.
Because whenever you do, you become happy.
Whenever you do, the reality that those things don't exist won't hit you, big time.
So I'll just close my eyes.
And keep a fool of myself.