Let It Go.

[I will not be discussing the song. However, the song inspired me to write this to reflect this Holy Week.]

Many of us have old habits. Old ways. Old means. Old characters and attitudes. And many of us know how to change; only, we decide not to. Or at least we believe that we can't.

Personally, I have always believed that we cannot change. People can't change. We can improve ourselves, but we cannot change.

Every Lenten Season, we are reminded of the Passion of Christ. We hear the story, we see it on TV and movies, we listen to the Seven Last Words. But we tend to forget about these things after the Lord has Risen. We tend to go back to our old ways after we make sacrifices for the sake of practicing the traditions in preparation for and during the Holy Week. We go back to doing what we always do and act like the Holy Week didn't pass. But, have we asked ourselves: when do I change for the better and for good? When do I learn what Holy Week has always taught me every year?

Probably you have noticed that at first I used the word "we". But in the questions, I used the word "I". When I used the "we", I wanted to say that everyone is like the way I perceived "us" to be based on my experiences and observations. I collectively described the people I know, I see, I observe, including myself. I collectively wanted to imply that each and everyone of us does one thing or another that does not constitute making our way to become better persons when the Holy Week ends. However, as I can only observe people, I cannot reflect for them nor think for them.

And so, I want to focus on myself. And maybe later on, someone who gets the opportunity to read this will also have a reflection. Where do I go after this? Who am I after this?

When I was a kid, every Holy Week I used to attend the "pabasa". That's the Filipino tradition of reading the Passion of Christ. And we do not just read them line by line. We sing them. I experienced going to my grandmother's house and sing it. And then, while growing up, I used to go to my grandparents house to have a vacation because: (1) it is holiday every Holy Week; and, (2) it is the summer vacation. I stopped going to pabasa since then. I just enjoyed spending time with my cousins and relatives. At that time, the Holy Week is more of a relaxation than reflection. When I reached college, every Holy Thursday my aunt and cousins would go to Landayan and pay our respects to Lolo Uweng (Sepulcher) as our Visita Iglesia (Church visiting) . But that's just that.

When I started working, Holy Week has been the week that I have always looked forward to. Not because it was the time that I get to reflect, but because it was the only time that I get to have a vacation for four days (especially in my line of work where I don't get vacations like students can). I always wanted to go somewhere, some place where I can relax and get my mind off things that constitutes work. Or just stay at home and do nothing. I would search for mall hours or I would immediately say yes to friends for a trip to spend the holidays. I have already forgotten what the Holy Week means and why was I having these so-called "vacations."

And then, at the end of the Holy Week, I was back to my old ways. Back to what I have always been doing. Not that I have always been a bad person. But I have sinned and continue to. I have not learned how to let go of my worst attitudes and habits. I have not learned, even until now, how to become a better person.

Again, I do not believe that a person can change. Because change constitutes something that has to be replaced. Like when you change your phone, you replace it with a new one. And I realized that for me to change my bad habits, I have to replace them with new ones. And I definitely wouldn't want to do that.

So, instead of changing, I want to let go of the bad ways that I used to do. And learn the good ones. One step at a time. The message of the Holy Week for me is to choose the path that Jesus has chosen. The path that will lead me to having the Eternal Life that He had when He rose again. The path where I know I will have to carry my own cross but I will do so with courage and determination to reach the end. The path where I am not afraid to cross for I know I am not alone. Jesus will be walking with me 'till the end of the line. And I shouldn't be reminded of that only when it is Holy Week. But I should remind myself of that every day of my life. It may not be easy and I am just a human. But I am a human who is capable of learning how to become a better person. Capable of letting go of the negativities in life and welcoming the positive ones. And in the end, I will rise just like how Jesus did. In the end, I will be in His side at the end of the path.