My thoughts..

For the past months or even years, I've learned how to observe people: their actions, their words and comments, their questions about me.. Most of the time, I take note of those questions and then, at nightfall, I begin to ponder on these questions..

Why would such questions cross my mind? I wonder, why on earth am I thinking about these questions? Why do I bother to give answers anyway? What is it to me if these people that I know asks me questions that should be of no importance to me? Why do I care so much about these questions that I take them to sleep every night? Let alone not being able to sleep at all...

I believe it is because these questions remind me of memories that I should have forgotten by now but not quite able to do so..

Our mind contains memories. Vivid memories that we live with every single day. Memories that some we want to keep, and some, we're trying so hard to forget. These memories, which were brought back by the questions being asked to us, also brings us the emotions that we so reluctantly acknowledge because we keep on dictating ourselves that we should not recognize it and yet our hearts voluntarily do so. In which case, we keep on falling for the same person, the same situation all over again. We keep on trying to avoid it without noticing that we also hurt ourselves in the process. And yet, every single time we think of those happy memories shared by two hearts, we bring to ourselves the hope that maybe one day, all will be back again. And yet again, recognizing the fact that it will not happen anymore. And yet again, not believing on this fact and instead, believing that no matter how much we try to forget and fight back those emotions we feel, it just keeps on coming back.

Helpless as it may seem, these things normally happen to people who have the characteristics of loving a person all their lives. As love stories tell, these people does exist. And their existence makes love as vague as ever..

So what happens to these questions? Nothing. It just makes love and life more confusing that it looks like it doesn't matter anymore. Not that life doesn't matter anymore. But love, or a new love at that, already becomes irrelevant to one's existence. As if that person you've loved will be the only one in your heart all your life. And the rest are just plainly unimportant..

"There are things in life that will never be gone.. will never change.. and will remain in my heart forever..."