When Goodbye Seems Endless...

Goodbye.

The word I hate the most. But too often used by people we hate; people we love; people we just met once; people we lived with for almost the rest of our lives; people we never thought would leave; people we hold on to for no one knows how long; people like Ate Kristel.. I don’t know much about Ate Kristel. I only met her once when I came to Ate Melai’s birthday party, almost two years ago. But what I know is this: she loves her family, she loves everyone who loves her, and she wouldn’t have left them without good memories to remember. I can only speak of little knowledge about who Ate Kristel is. So maybe I can just say something about her sister, Ate Melai, who is a very close friend of mine..

I met Ate Melai while I was working at PNU-DOST office as a Student-Assistant. I immediately became close to her because she is so kind and friendly. We became so close that I treat her as a sister. When she graduated ahead of me, I cried because, as I said, I hate Goodbyes. I knew after their graduation, a lot will change. And indeed, a lot has changed since.. We still see each other every Christmas party at the office where I work. Even after I graduated, we still attend the same party. It’s the only time of the year when we can bond together. We also see each other besides that occasion but it had been difficult for us to arrange our schedules on a date that we’re both free. So we take the chance of seeing each other at that party. However, last year, I wasn’t able to catch her because I came late at the party. It was sad not to see my dearest friend. We’ve tried to schedule a date with each other but it never materialized. “Maybe,” I thought. “It was me who has changed. I have added other priorities that I wasn’t able to find time for her.” I never thought we would finally meet again. But in such a tragic situation.. I took half of my day today to pay a visit at the wake of her sister. I would have came with two DPS professors who are also friends of Ate Melai but they got to do something so they just sent Ate Melai their condolences. I texted a friend, Ian (who, by the way, is the boyfriend of my bestfriend, Sarah) to come with me to the wake. As we were on the road, I thought of how should I react in case Ate Melai comes to me with tears in her eyes. But I was surprised that instead of tears, I saw a small curve from her lips which seem to say, “I’m okay..”. That smile gave me hope and the assurance that she’s trying to be strong. I hugged her, letting her know that I’m there for her. That I was sorry this has to happen before we can finally see each other. That “I am finally here..” We sat down. I never thought Ate Melai can be that strong. And I admire her so much for that bravery she showed us. She smiled, laughed, told stories about her sister. I couldn’t have done that if I was in her position. But she has shown that no matter how devastating it was, she has to be strong, not just for herself but for her family who counts on her. I’ve seen in her eyes the longing to be with her sister, alive. I’ve seen the sadness and the grief that is hidden by her every smiles. I’ve seen how much she’s trying to cope up with all of these things. But I’ve also seen the courage to face these things and the hope that one day, they’ll be okay again..

After we’ve talked, we went home. I thought, God has plans for everyone. For us. He has reasons why things like this happen. Reasons that are beyond what our minds can fathom. Reason that are beyond our mere understanding. But I also believe, that whatever those reasons are, we need to have faith that these are all for our own good. That these things happen for our sake. May it be for us to know how precious our family is or may it be for us to know how to cherish our loved ones. No matter what these are for, we need to have Faith in Him.. Goodbye is the word I hate the most. But too often used by people we hate; people we love; people we just met once; people we lived with for almost the rest of our lives; people we never thought would leave; people we hold on to for no one knows how long.. But as much as I hate goodbyes, I know and I have faith that it can also mean a Hello.. A new beginning for what has been ended.. A new life.. For whatever it may mean, the only thing that I can think of right now is this: LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST AND LET THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM.. We can never stop goodbye from coming out of our lips.. But at least it gives the assurance that no matter how long you’ll be gone, what is important is you stayed in their hearts..

Forever..